It’s time to take a long, hard look at social media

By Stephen Reeves

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I suspect you might as well. It sometimes feels both as essential to modern life as the telephone and a potential cause of the downfall of humanity.

It is easy to love some of what Facebook, Twitter and Instagram bring to our lives. Connection with friends and family across the miles and years. The ability to “watch” kids grow up from afar. A constant stream of interesting information. 

I see videos, articles and pictures about music, fly fishing, guitars, Braves baseball (World Series champs!) and Longhorn football (sadly). I can follow what is going on at friends’ churches and with advocacy organizations I support. I don’t know what most churches would have done during the pandemic without the ability to stream worship services online through Facebook or YouTube. These tools have kept us engaged and connected. 

There is, of course, plenty of news and opinion that keeps us informed about the world and up to date on the latest thinking. I’m grateful to find insightful columns, essays and blog posts that challenge my thinking or present new ideas. 

The reasons I hate social media also are easy to describe. The “fakeness” that abounds. The need to present and cultivate a certain image and the temptation to compare ourselves to others. No one is entirely “real” on social media, and I suspect if folks were, they would lose followers and friends. We lose time as we get “lost in the scroll.” 

And don’t forget the constant bombardment of ads. I’m certain that I’ve bought plenty of things I don’t need because I saw an ad on social media. We can pretend to be immune, but if such marketing didn’t work, these companies wouldn’t exist. Their value is in the time you spend staring at a screen—that frequently includes ads. 

There are big, macro problems, too, as lies and conspiracy theories spread, while our screens pull us deeper into our own tribes. The more we convince ourselves those who live, believe, think and vote differently are somehow dangerous, evil and a threat, the less stable our democracy becomes. We cannot find the common good when we believe we have nothing in common and view others as constant combatants. The fact that many social media companies seem to care so little about their societal impact is downright frightening. As often as social media keeps us connected, it drives us apart. 

I think about this dichotomy a lot. Some days, I consider pulling the social media plug altogether, but I realize it is an incredibly effective way to reach people for Fellowship Southwest or CBF Advocacy. And I’d also miss learning what all my friends are reading, doing, and thinking. 

In the last several months, this essay by Lutheran pastor and author Nadia Bolz-Weber has stuck with me. (Warning, contains bad language) She points out another dichotomy: How do we stay informed without allowing our newsfeeds to leave us feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world?   “I just do not think our psyches were developed to hold, feel and respond to everything coming at them right now; every tragedy, injustice, sorrow and natural disaster happening to every human across the entire planet, in real time every minute of every day,” she explains.

I’ve spent my career urging Christians to be informed and engaged citizens, to pay attention to what is going on outside the walls of the church and work to make an impact for justice. Fifteen years ago, I didn’t think I’d ever need to tell folks to stop paying so much attention. 

Social media puts pressure on us all to respond to everything all the time. In most instances, “I just don’t know enough to comment” is not going to satisfy anyone, but appearing to ignore the pain of others reeks of privilege and risks appearing callous. 

Bolz-Weber continues, “I’m not saying we should put our heads in the sand. I’m saying that if your circuits are overwhelmed, there’s a reason, and the reason isn’t because you are heartless. It’s because there is not a human heart on this planet that can bear all of what is happening right now.” She ends with an encouragement to find and stay committed to doing what you can for the things you care about and not trying to do it all.

I’m no longer certain the good outweighs the bad with social media. Engagement takes intention and discernment. I believe it’s time Christians take a long, hard look at its impact on us and the world around us, while also allowing it to be a window to the experiences of others. I don’t have any answers for my concerns nor predictions of the future. I just want to be realistic about the downsides, attuned to injustice in the world and not overwhelmed to the point to paralysis. 

Stephen Reeves is executive director of Fellowship Southwest.