Grief, gratitude, hope & resolve

By Stephen Reeves

As we begin moving to the other side of this pandemic, four words are on my mind—grief, gratitude, hope and resolve.

I feel the weight of grief. It is a heaviness in my chest, a knot in my gut and a frequent dull headache. I feel this not just for the many lives lost, but for all that was given up—time with friends and family, vacations already planned, Christmas plays, Easter Sundays, tee-ball seasons, concerts, conferences, businesses and livelihoods lost. I grieve the constant state of conflict in our culture. Surely, some would have been present without the pandemic, but I doubt it would feel so heavy and inescapable. I grieve the continued reality of racism and xenophobia so visibly present in our daily lives.   

Yet I also feel an immense sense of gratitude. I’m grateful for all the front-line workers who risked their lives fighting the pandemic and keeping vital services functioning. I’m grateful for the medical technology and manufacturing that developed, tested and deployed an incredibly effective vaccine at breakneck speed. As toxic as our political culture is, I want express gratitude to the lawmakers who passed big, ambitious and costly legislation that has kept businesses open, prevented evictions and foreclosures, fed hungry children and put money in stretched bank accounts.

I’m working hard to cling to hope these days. I’m hopeful we’ll resume some of the essential gatherings that bring joy and mark important milestones. I’m hopeful about what an in-person school year in the fall will mean for my kids, and especially those kids not fortunate enough to have a parent teaching them all day. I’m hopeful that out of pain and adversity will come an opportunity for boldness. 

I’m also feeling a sense of resolve. I’m convinced we cannot and should not “go back to normal.” The previous normal no longer exists, and that normal didn’t work so well for a lot of folks, anyway. As much as conflict and division wear me down, fighting for justice alongside sisters and brothers lifts me up. Our world and country have changed. Good. The pandemic left me convinced there is not time for complacency. I hope through Fellowship Southwest we can create a community resolved to the work of justice and compassion and committed to one another. 

I’m grateful for this chance to dream big and go bold, and I’m resolved not to waste it. 

Stephen Reeves is executive director of Fellowship Southwest.